Selected matters from the Warwick drawer. Names changed where anyone asked. Names kept where nobody did.
CLIENT: Anonymous homeowner, east-facing window. COMPLAINT: "These guys showed up at my house looking for clues and they won't go away." FINDINGS: - Subjects match agency principals Snubinsky & Noseworth. - Subjects deny loitering; claim "active observation." - Ashtray on sill: two brands, one argument. DISPOSITION: Told the client we were already on the case. Billed the client for showing up. Case remains open. So does the window.
CLIENT: Proprietor, unnamed tavern near the Gittes-Spade. COMPLAINT: A bottle of rye walked out without paying. FINDINGS: - Bottle located on the principals' desk. - Bottle claimed self-defense: "they looked thirsty." - Proprietor recognized the handwriting on the tab. DISPOSITION: Returned the bottle. Kept the story. Settled the tab in spirits, per agency terms. Case closed. Cork retained as souvenir.
CLIENT: The letterhead itself. COMPLAINT: Two surnames sharing one door were confusing the mailman. FINDINGS: - "Snubnose" tested better on a card than "Snubinsky-Noseworth." - Beatniks inquired anyway. Were redirected to jazz. - Building already borrowed from better pictures. We fit right in. DISPOSITION: Kept the name. Kept the confusion. Added "*PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL*" in small type. All cases remain mostly confidential.
CLIENT: Brink Studios. COMPLAINT: The city needed a short. The short needed detectives. FINDINGS: - Yellow title cards cut through the rain. - Principals photographed well between cigarettes. - Audience instructed to follow @BrinkStudios for updates. DISPOSITION: Matter referred to theaters and timelines. Agency remains open for business, and for laughs. See trailer on the front page. Bring your own ashtray.